


it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to-

by upallnightstrungtight



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Character, Bisexual Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 03:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upallnightstrungtight/pseuds/upallnightstrungtight
Summary: After everything that had happened, it was better to keep some distance.





	it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to-

**Author's Note:**

> my heart was so happy to see them take a picture together, I don't know why my brain gave me this lmao

For the first time in a long time, Henry was sat across from Ryeowook. The two of them were waiting backstage for Kyuhyun to wrap up, and it seemed each only had time for a short visit. And it’d been even longer since he’d felt his chest squeezing like this.

He forced his shoulders down and turned so they were half facing each other. “Um... You look good.”

“Thank... you,” Ryeowook cautiously replied, the corner of his mouth pulling up into that small, pleased smile of his that tightened the vise another turn. “You do too.” The sincerity of those words, casually returned, showed, too, in the near-imperceptible, split-second widening of Ryeowook’s pupils, making his eyes look dark and fathomless as they panned down more slowly a second time, and his throat working in a familiar way that was impossible to not notice. One that used to lead to commands barely distinguishable from begging-

It was unbearable.

“I bet you’ve been cranky as all hell, too,” Henry teased, finding his footing in the only way he still could. “Probably driving Kyuhyun nuts.”

Barking out a laugh, Ryeowook shook his head for a couple of seconds. Voices rose and passed. Just staff, then. “You could’ve left it at a compliment, you know. Work on that charm.” He paused for a second. “And yes, I’m eating just fine.”

“...I didn’t say anything about that.”

Ryeowook sighed, then looked at him pointedly. Henry broke first, looked down at the floor while he willed his stomach to unknot itself.

“It’s impressive,” Ryeowook suddenly said. “Another movie. It’s good that you’re doing so well.” He added more quietly, “You always deserved that.”

That got Henry to meet his gaze. He thought that maybe, the expression on his face mirrored Ryeowook’s - a bittersweet sort of hopeful, tinted with caution. “You’re working hard too,” he half mumbled, though he didn’t know why. He’d never been as comfortable in the silence as he’d wanted to be. Or at least, not with the man before him.

But what did it matter now?

Once more. He decided he’d try talking to him once more. “You’re happy, right?” Against his will, it came out as more of a plea. So he pressed forward. “How’s your-“

Suddenly squeezing his eyes shut, as though he already knew the words that would follow, Ryeowook shook his head so quickly that it was a wonder it didn’t fall off his neck.

“Oh... I see.” _Not good, then. That’s too bad. I thought they’d worked things out again_ , Henry thought, meaning the sympathies he didn’t say more than he’d ever managed to before. That was good progress. Something. Or at least not nothing.

There was a roar of sound outside. At last, Kyuhyun coming in broke the tension, and Ryeowook sprang up to hand him a towel to replace the soaked one he’d just dropped.

“Thanks for coming. Both of you. I did good, right? For my first fanmeeting back?”

“Of course you did.” Ryeowook was quick to answer, entirely unlike their stilted conversation up to this point.

Henry stood up to give Kyuhyun a cautious hug around the patches of sweat. “You did great, dude.” Then he clapped Kyuhyun on the back. “Hyung, I can’t believe you almost didn’t see me.”

With an easy laugh, Kyuhyun said, “It’s okay, my fans told me. You don’t need to worry-“ He raised his hand, then lowered it, looking between him and Ryeowook a couple of times. “Oh my god, you’re not doing that awkward ex thing again, are you?”

“It’s fine-“ Both of them started saying at the same time, then stopped, also at the same time.

“See, this is why I don’t do romance,” Kyuhyun chimed in before either could protest more. He gestured meaningfully at the space between his friends.

So Ryeowook shoved a water bottle at him none too gently. “You told me it was because you didn’t want to date. Then you complain you’re lonely!”

Henry snickered, but said nothing. Didn’t matter that it was his ex, it was still funny. Kyuhyun’s pouting made it funnier, too.

“Of course I’m lonely! Nowadays, Changmin barely has time for anything except quick handjobs! Or when he does, he insists on having friends over, who then won’t take the hint to leave. Argh!” After two big gulps of water, Kyuhyun continued, “And I know Ryeowook and I are living together again, but-“

“Nope!” Henry loudly interrupted him, eyes wide. That was... quite enough information. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun both stared at him, so similarly suspicious that it was almost funny again. Only almost. Much more quietly, he said, “I _don’t care_ if you two are sleeping together again. Seriously. I don’t.”

The longer he went on, the more firmly Ryeowook’s expression morphed into one of utter disbelief. Saying the words 'I can’t believe you would actually think that' would’ve been subtle by comparison for how loud his expression screamed it.

Bouncing from one foot to the other, Henry couldn’t help but mutter “Sorry?” as a question, though he wasn’t sure he did anything wrong. Why wouldn’t history repeat itself here? It wasn’t an insult. Touchy!

Kyuhyun snorted, shook his head, then stole Henry’s chair. “What, is Ryeonggu done playing nice already? You don't have to be weird about it like this.”

“Easy for you to say, Mr. No-Date,” Ryeowook countered, tilting his chin down and shooting Kyuhyun the kind of condescending incredulity that used to get Henry in trouble all the time for making him laugh when he wasn’t supposed to. “Some of us have actual feelings to deal with.” With the lingering sorrow and exhaustion hanging in the air, he crossed his arms across his body and shifted his weight to one hip. His shirt rode up over the other one, showing off the smooth, smooth skin, the perfect shape to fit into his hand-

“Cool it, poison tongue. It’s not like that, I just, well, don’t get any of this stuff.” Kyuhyun‘s voice interrupted his unwelcome reverie. “The falling in love, the couple stuff, the fuss over breaking up, none of it makes sense to me.” Two discordant protests started up, but he waved them both off. “So many people say that friendship after breaking up isn’t possible. But why? It’s two people that like each other, so aren’t couples supposed to be friends in the first place?”

Out of reflex, Henry turned to Ryeowook for some kind of cue on what to do about this sudden rant, only to find the other exasperated and rolling his eyes. 'Please make it stop,' he mouthed desperately. The only thing he wanted less than to listen to this was a scolding about not following the byzantine protocols of age-based hierarchy.

Still, Kyuhyun went on, unheeding of any potential threats to his own well-being. “I’m still friends with everyone I’ve had sex with,” he boasted. “Everyone could stand to learn a thing or two from me.”

“Just listening to this again makes me tired,” Ryeowook complained, shoving Kyuhyun’s arm, which made him splash water on himself. Speaking over Kyuhyun’s squawks of complaint, Ryeowook said, “You'd better not go on like this all the way home!”

“Whatever. Besides, you both made your choices.” With that, Kyuhyun looked between them pointedly, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes accompanying the start of a smirk. “ _Now_ , how about sucking it up and showering me in praise and welcoming me back?”

“Again?” Henry said through a laugh. _Hell of a turnaround_. “Okay, fine. It’s good to have you back, hyung.” He couldn’t say he wasn’t glad to stop thinking about- all of that.

With the air of a king handing down a merciful decree, Ryeowook added, eyebrows raised, “You can pick dinner again tonight.” As soon as he’d finished speaking, however, the natural pout of his mouth at rest spoiled the effect. Kyuhyun shaking his shoulder jubilantly only made it worse, of course.

“That’s more like it!” Somehow, Kyuhyun’s grinning response left them all laughing. For a second, it was almost like old times. Then Kyuhyun tilted his head back and closed his eyes. His weary sigh broke the fragile spell.

Before he lost his nerve, Henry took a step forward and put his hand on Ryeowook’s shoulder. “Hyung... It’s just...” His next words came out hardly above a whisper. “Do you think we’ll ever be back to normal?”

Though he’d hoped for some sort of reaching out in return, he didn’t get it. Through the long seconds of silence, he couldn’t know if it was Ryeowook’s annoying passivity in the face of difficult emotions - which, he reminded himself, _wasn’t his problem anymore_ \- or if it was an answer.

At last, Ryeowook said with a sad half-smile, “Maybe one day,” turning away just sharply enough that it forced Henry’s hand to slip off his shoulder, leaving it hanging in the chasm between them.


End file.
